Please God, Can I have one more Gun for Christmas

Growing up my father always had a multitude of guns around the home for hunting and self protection. All were rifles or shotguns that provided much needed nutrition from wild game as well as providing a means of protecting the 10 ton of wheat, rice and beans we kept in the basement.

Upon dad’s passing each of the 12 children inherited a gun or two with many rounds of ammunition. I inherited a 12 gauge double barreled shotgun. Over the years I have chosen to have a hit man slaughter my meat and short of fishing, have not taught my children to hunt as my father did his sons.

Times are changing. Just as our forefathers had the insight to protect the right of “men” to “bare” arms (how did they know men would be shaving their arms 236 years later), we now have the opportunity to look forward as a nation and protect the civil rights of our children and grandchildren.

A shotgun lies beneath my bed (with a trigger lock and the key attached to my nipple ring) next to my baseball bat. As I have progressed over the years, I find it far too impersonal to outright shoot an intruder or a sales person at your front door when you could personalize this action to a far greater level with the baseball bat! But, I must ask myself, “What would Jesus do?” Does Jesus understand the importance of personal protection and also the need to keep high power weapon’s in the event government needs to be overthrown if our leaders take away our individual freedoms? I find it interesting depending on who is “President” you are either a “patriot” or an “anarchist” if you have ambitions of overthrowing the government by force!

During the holidays I wonder what role religion plays in my life and am always hesitant to mix religion and government. But, I have come to the conclusion that government should require all baseball bats to have the seventh commandment engraved in it. Thou shalt not kill.

Yes, I am proud of my emotional maturity, evolution if you will, and hope to continue with my progression as it relates to violence. In honor of my new found belief system, I pledge to only use my baseball bat on our Jesus piñata!

Yes, I know it’s “bear”……